Labyrinth Walking In Santa Fe

Labyrinth Walking In Santa Fe

 

 

“Labyrinth”  according to Merriam-Webster, is defined as a complicated irregular network of passages or paths in which it is difficult to find one’s way; a maze.

But the labyrinths in my travels are not mazes, but uni-directional paths that offer a very soulful, and some would say spiritual, experience.

Labyrinths are said to date back to the Greeks in Knossos where designs started to appear in the 5th to third century B.C. Later, in the 12th century they would start to appear in Europe and elsewhere. From Egypt to India, to the Hopi Mesas, to English village greens, the labyrinth became a world wide architectural and artistic phenomena. Perhaps one of the most famous is at Chartres which measures 42 feet in diameter and whose construction dates to 1201.

Labyrinths, often constructed of simple stones, create a path that twists and turns, seemingly doubling back on itself, while always moving forward.  The meandering walkway follows a precise path, offering an opportunity to take a journey within and reflect upon whatever arises.

The experience of walking a labyrinth is simultaneously thoughtful and mindless. It is mindless in that you are not required to think, but just to be in the moment and follow the carefully laid out path before you.

It is thoughtful in that it is essentially a silent meditation.

Walking is a chance to pause, to reflect, to not think if you choose.

And in entering this space, time disappears. Here, now, one’s focus is simply on the present.

***

There are many theories about these curious structures. They appear in drawings, mosaics, as imprints in coins and art, in gardens and on land. The Greeks used a labyrinth symbol in their coins on Knossos:

Labyrinth

Labyrinth on a Knossos silver coin 400 B.C.

The famous labyrinth in the Chartres Cathedral, 1750

 

This coin  is an example of the seven circuit style, aka the classic labyrinth (versus the Medieval labyrinth). The Medieval pattern was often embedded in church floors such as at the Cathedral at Chartres, and was said to represent the intersection of faith, life and philosophy.

As colonial influences spread, so did the labyrinth. But many labyrinths seem to predate these migration patterns. From Wikipedia:

Equally puzzling are the labyrinths found carved and painted on cave and temple walls in India and on tribal objects from Sumatra and Java – how and when the labyrinth reached these remote areas remains difficult to fully explain. Likewise the occurrence of the symbol amongst rock art in the American Southwest – was this an independent discovery of the design, or a European introduction?

 

A Trail of Travel Serendipity

 

Cancer-Road-Trip Ghost Ranch

Labyrinth at Ghost Ranch, NM

On a recent trip to Ghost Ranch I came upon a labyrinth; and then I met a woman in Santa Fe who was part of the Labyrinth Society. And on this summer day, the Labyrinth Society has a walk at Museum Hill. So I thought I’d attend.

 

labyrinth cathedral Santa Fe

Music accompanies the labyrinth walk outside the Folk Art Museum on Museum Hill

Serendipity seems to unfold before me. I walked up to the table where I was greeted. And I got talking to one of the women at the welcoming desk.

The woman, it turns out, also had cancer some years ago. “It changed my life for the better,” she confided. I knew what she meant. Knowing that one’s time is limited, makes us appreciate the great gift of life.

And labyrinths are part of that gift. They are an opportunity to stop, to reflect and to simply be. It’s a time out in a busy day. This day at Museum Hill, at mid-day, the leaves tussle in the afternoon breeze carrying the soft melody of the guitar, and twenty people or so slowly weave their way through the green and red pavers of the labyrinth in front of the Folk Art Museum.

The Labyrinth Society has an online labyrinth you can “walk” with your mouse. But if at all possible, I suggest you go exploring for a real labyrinth experience. As I got to. My chance conversation led to a morning with Santa Fe Labyrinth Resource Group founder, Marge McCarthy.

Exploring the Labyrinths of Santa Fe

The official list of labyrinths in Santa Fe includes about a dozen different sites. In addition to the public sites, labyrinths can also be found in communities and private yards.

Perhaps the most prominent labyrinth is the one at the Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi, downtown.

Labyrinth

The labyrinth at the Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi lies under the left(eastern) bell tower.

 

Labyrinth

Evening light spreads across the stone labyrinth at the Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi

 

Labyrinth

A bench offers a place to pause at the church’s labyrinth.

This particular labyrinth is set off to the side so the casual visitor might overlook it. It’s a classic Chartres style labyrinth, that is found throughout Europe, Scandinavia, India and North Africa.

Labyrinth historians categorize these circuitous paths based on their shape, the number of circuits and the time period. They can be left handed or right handed; have 7, 9, 11 or more (or fewer) circuits. But all labyrinths have one thing common: the are unicursal, ie. a single path that takes an pre-planned and intricate path into the center and back again.

Labyrinth Construction

Labyrinth construction varies widely. Some labyrinths are more formal, made of carefully laid stone as part of a plaza. Some are casual, rocks in concentric circles in a field or even ridges of earth. Some are cut into turf. They can be permanent or temporary, as in the case of a labyrinth on canvas.

All labyrinths follow basic rules of construction, where the labyrinth is carefully measured and laid out, prior to building.

And, according to Marge McCarthy, a dowser should be employed to determine the location and entrance of the labyrinth.

Dowsing involves not water, but energy. The person or shaman doing the dousing is seeking to align the energetic center of the labyrinth with the energy of the earth. Marge tells an interesting story of having several dowsers out to a particular labyrinth. And each found the exact same location.

Once the center is established, the lines are carefully measured and laid out. Depending on the size of the construction team and location, hours (or even days!)  are then spent bringing the labyrinth to life, as the concentric rings are carefully constructed. Exacting measurements at the beginning of the process insure a properly aligned end product.

If you’ve never walked a labyrinth, it’s something to put on your list of things to try. It’s experiential. The emotion of finding oneself “lost” while on the path; the turning points; the arrival at the center and the act of departing can have deep impact. I know that these curious pathways are now on my travel list. Here are a a few of my favorites from the Santa Fe area to date:

Aldea Labyrinth

Aldea is a residential community north of Santa Fe, and the labyrinth here was spearheaded as a community effort some years ago. Marge hadn’t been out recently, so we weren’t sure what we would find. But we found a well cared for labyrinth in a field with views of the distant mountains:

 

Labyrinth

Aldea labyrinth was a community effort.

 

labyrinth

Aldea Labyrinth

There is something a bit magical about finding a labyrinth where one might not expect it. Who built it? Why here? Every labyrinth has a story.

Frenchy’s Field

Labyrinth

The Frenchy’s Field Labyrinth is made of clay and straw. It requires frequent maintenance.

The Santa Fe Interfaith Council sponsored this labyrinth  in 1998. This seven circuit labyrinth (there are seven concentric circles, thus a seven circuit labyrinth) is high maintenance. The combination of adobe type materials, hot sun and torrential downpours weathers the ridges that make up the pathways.

It’s located in Frenchy’s Field, on Agua Fria which runs along the river. The park has been owned by a host of owners, starting with the Pueblo people and more recently, many recall Frenchy’s Sunshine Dairy, which lent their name to the park. It’s a gathering place for everything from walks along the river, to laughter yoga, to Tai Chi.

 

Labyrinth Santa Fe

Prayer flags wave from a primitive shelter at the start of the labyrinth.

Public and Hidden Labyrinths

Some of the better know labyrinths around town include the Christ Lutheran Church at 1701 Arroyo Chamiso Road, a modified seven circuit Chartres style; the labyrinth at the Museum of International Folk Art;  the Railyard; the Santa Fe Community Yoga Center; Southwestern College and Community Church.

Labyrinth Santa Fe

At a busy intersection, surrounded by trees is the labyrinth at Christ Lutheran Church, Santa Fe, NM

But tucked away,  just to the north of Santa Fe is my favorite labyrinth. It’s small and nestles near an arroyo. The location I cannot disclose. But the pictures I can share:

 

Labyrinth Santa Fe

The path to the hidden labyrinth

 

“Those that don’t believe in magic will never find it.”

–Roald Dahl

 

Labyrinth Santa Fe

A small 5 circuit Labyrinth tucked away near Santa Fe

There is something magical about coming across a labyrinth in the middle of nowhere. Mind, body and spirit join the earth in a walk as old as the ages.

May you discover the wonder of labyrinth walking in your travels.

 

Labyrinth Walks in Santa Fe

Upcoming Labyrinth Walk in Santa Fe

Path of Forgiveness
Sunday, August 26, 5:00pm 
Harp music by Kathleen Cosgrove
The Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi, 131 Cathedral Place

 

A short Ted talk on the impact of labyrinths on one young woman:

 

 

More Reading on Labyrinths

Lauren Artress reintroduces the ancient labyrinth, a walking meditation  that trancends the limits of still meditation, and shows us the possibilities it brings for renewal and change.

‘Walking the Labyrinth’ has reemerged today as a metaphor for the spiritual journey and a powerful tool for transformation. This walking meditation is an archetype, a mystical ritual found in all religious traditions. It quiets the mind and opens the soul. Walking a Sacred Path explores the historical origins of this divine imprint and shares the discoveries of modern day seekers. It shows us the potential of the Labyrinth to inspire change and renewal, and serves as a guide to help us develop the higher level of human awareness we need to survive in the twenty-first century.

 

 

The first time Helen Curry walked a labyrinth she was moved to tears and then “was filled with peace and possibilities.” Here, she shares her years of experience with labyrinth meditation and shows how others can find serenity and guidance by adopting this increasingly popular practice. Unlike mazes, which force choices and can create fear and confusion, labyrinths are designed to “embrace” and guide individuals through a calming, meditative walk on a single circular path. The Way of the Labyrinth includes meditations, prayers, questions for enhancing labyrinth walks, guidelines for ceremonies, instructions for finger meditations, and extensive resources. This enchanting, practical, and exquisitely packaged guide helps both novice and experienced readers enjoy the benefits of labyrinth meditation, from problem-solving to stress reduction to personal transformation. Includes a foreword by Jean Houston, the renowned author and leader in the field of humanistic psychology, who is considered the grandmother of the current labyrinth revival.

 

Laybrinths and mazes are found all over the world and have been a source of wonder throughout history. This work explores the many aspects of labyrinths from their architectural, astrological and mythological significance to their iconographical , mathematical and artistic fascination. It is an introduction to such different labyrinth forms as rock engravings on Trojan castles, medieval manuscripts, church labyrinths and Baroque garden mazes. He traces the origins, developments and changing meanings of this mystic form from the Bronze Age to the present day. The labyrinth’s dominant position in Western civilization is supplemented by explorations in other cultures around the globe, including those of Egypt, India and North America. By taking a close look through the centuries at different cultures and across the continents, the cultural and historical significance of the maze takes on a new light.

 

 

More About Visiting Santa Fe

Four Museums and a Garden: Visiting Museum Hill In Santa Fe
The Zen of Upaya
The Art, Culture and Beauty of Santa Fe

 

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Labyrinth Santa Fe

 

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Four Museums and a Garden: Visiting Museum Hill in Santa Fe

Four Museums and a Garden: Visiting Museum Hill in Santa Fe

Museum Hill is just outside of town, so the average visitor, often overcome by the seduction of turquoise, woven fibers and art in and around the Plaza, might overlook this site which hosts world class museums ranging from Folk Art to Native American pieces.

My advice: Don’t be average!

Tucked away in the foothills of the Sangre de Cristo mountains, this elegant ensemble of buildings also sports a cafe (with a Sunday brunch and  jazz Friday evenings) and the International Folk Art Festival in July. There are four museums–plus the Botanical Gardens– gathered here.

 

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Click Here To Visit The Botanical Gardens of Santa Fe!

Let’s visit Museum Hill!

 

Museum Hill, Santa Fe: The Four Museums

Each museum is certainly a stand alone entity, but one of the things I find interesting about Museum Hill is that it offers a blend of the history of peoples who have gone into creating such a unique culture in and around Santa Fe.

Though the Museum of Spanish Colonial Art, one gets a sense of how the Spanish sensibilities of art and culture have come to be intertwined with modern day living.

The Museum of Indian Arts and Culture looks at historic and contemporary Indian culture.

The Folk Art Museum is a quirky museum with a quirky gift shop, that hosts the International Folk Art Festival drawing a global audience of artists and collectors each July. It is said to be one of the best parties in Santa Fe!

And the spectacular jewelry displays at the Wheelwright Museum (and in its gift shop) will more than make up for shopping time away from the Plaza.

This cluster of buildings on Museum Hill is arranged around a beautiful courtyard, that includes stunning sculpture, places to sit and a labyrinth just outside the Folk Art Museum. Plus views of the Sangre de Cristo mountains overlooking the museum plaza. Like all of Santa Fe, it combines history, art and spirit with a depth of soul that celebrates a living, evolving heritage.

 

CancerRoadTrip Labyrinth at Museum Hill

The labyrinth at Museum Hill. Labyrinth walks are held periodically by the Labyrinth Society. More on the many labyrinths of Santa Fe in an upcoming post!

 

The Four Museums

Museum of Spanish Colonial Art at Museum Hill

CancerRoadTrip Museum Hill Santa Fe

Designed by John Gaw Meem  in 1930

 

This museum is dedicated to the art of the Spanish colonial period, with a focus on Hispanic New Mexico, and it is fascinating.  It highlights the impact of Spanish influence on the culture of the region. The Spanish Colonial Arts Society, which runs the museum, also hosts Spanish Market. This year the market will be held July 28-29 on the Santa Fe Plaza.

Spanish Market highlights colonial artists in a display of woodcarving, tinwork, colcha, pottery, ironwork and other traditional Spanish art forms which can be traced back over 400 years. It’s part of a weeklong celebration ¡Viva La Cultura! that includes lectures, culinary events, music and more.

The history of the The Spanish Colonial Arts Society  and the Museum goes back to 1913 when author Mary Austin and artist/author Frank G. Applegate officially founded the group. One of their initial efforts was to purchase a church in Chimayo. The church known throughout the world was El Santuario de Chimayo, the Lourdes of America. In 1954, the renovation of the Plaza del Cerro at Chimayo was also spearheaded by this group.

 

CancerRoadTrip Chimayo

Pilgrims to Chimayo often leave crosses in memory of loved ones

 

Through the generosity of an anonymous gift of land and financial help from John D. Rockefeller, Jr. the current museum came to life. It’s a wonderful architectural example fo the Spanish Colonial period (designed by renown architect John Gaw Meem  in 1930) as well as a spectacular collection of Spanish art. It’s well worth  a visit.

Click Here To Visit The Botanical Gardens of Santa Fe!

 

Museum of Indian Arts and Culture at Museum Hill

CancerRoadTrip Museum Hill Santa Fe

Entrance to the Museum of Indian Arts and Culture, Museum Hill

The late 1800’s saw a rise in interest in western and particularly Indian culture. The railroad, plus a bit of word of mouth, lured visitors to the southwest. Among the visitors was anthropologist Edgar Lee Hewett who had a mission to study and preserve the Native American artistic, cultural and intellectual achievements. He founded the Museum of New Mexico which later merged with John D. Rockefeller’s Laboratory of Anthropology.

To the side of the main entry is a courtyard where several sculptures greet the visitor outside the building:

 

CancerRoadTrip Museum Hill Santa Fe

Museum Hill, like the rest of Santa Fe, is a celebration of art and culture.

 

CancerRoadTrip Museum Hill Santa Fe

Bronze outside of the Museum of Indian Arts and Culture at Museum Hill

 

And in the main concourse, the stunning Warrior Sculpture:

CancerRoadTrip Museum Hill Santa Fe

Warrior Sculpture in central Plaza on Museum Hill

Art is an integral part of the culture in Santa Fe, inspired in part by the 19 New Mexican Pueblos, eight of which are located between Santa Fe and Taos. The history and presence of the pueblos is an integral part to understanding the region.

The Indian Pueblo in Taos New Mexico CancerRoadTrip Museum Hill

Taos Pueblo

 

 

The Pueblo at Taos New Mexico CancerRoadTrip

Close up of sculpture at Taos

 

 

The mission of the Museum of Indian Arts and Culture/Laboratory of Anthropology serves as a center of stewardship, knowledge, and understanding of the artistic, cultural, and intellectual achievements of the diverse peoples of the Native Southwest. It’s a fascinating museum for the visitor willing to step off the beaten path.

 

Click Here To Visit The Botanical Gardens of Santa Fe!

 

Wheelwright Museum of the American Indian at Museum Hill

The Navajo medicine man, Klah, was born in 1867. During this period the U.S. government had started its efforts to annihilate Indian culture through forced imprisonment and later, for the children, placement in Christian boarding schools.

Luck would bring together Klah, who had a deep interest in the preservation of the Navajo culture with Mary Cabot Wheelright, a sympathetic wealthy Bostonian from the Cabot family. This combined force created a permanent record of the vast knowledge of the medicine man and other Navajo rituals. Weavings, medical lore and additional Navajo traditions have been carefully preserved and are available only to others of Navajo descent.

The joint efforts of Klah and Ms. Wheelwright eventually evolved into the Wheelright Museum. And what a museum this is!

Tucked away just down the road from the main museum plaza, this gem showcases beautiful art and in the Martha Hopkins Struever Gallery, a history of native jewelry traditions.  Don’t let a bit of distance deter you from visiting this museum. In a town brimming with art and history, this is one stop you want to make.

The Wheelwright Museum was founded in 1937 which makes it the oldest non-profit museum in New Mexico. It offers a stunning display of traditional and contemporary Native American Art, including solo shows by living artists, and it is home to the Jim and Lauris Phillips Center for the Study of Southwestern Jewelry which is one of the most comprehensive collections of Navajo and Pueblo jewelry.

The museum offers a blend of history and contemporary artist culture, keeping alive many of the traditions of the southwest and its people. The jewelry exhibit ranges from old to new; from traditional to contemporary; and each piece has a story to tell. Docent tours are worth seeking out. As is the gift shop downstairs which features a range of old and new jewelry, rugs and other items.

CancerRoadTrip Museum Hill Santa Fe NM

Necklace by Charlene Reano (Santo Domingo Pueblo) 2006 Abalone, Spondylus

CancerRoadTrip Wheelwright Museum Museum Hill Santa Fe

The traditional squash blossom design has Moorish roots.

CancerRoadTrip Wheelwright Museum, Museum Hill, Santa Fe

A stunning display of older jewelry fashioned by the regional pueblos.

Museum of International Folk Art at Museum Hill

 

CancerRoadTrip Museum Hill Santa Fe

Folk Art at the Museum of International Folk Art, Museum Hill

What is folk art? From the museum:

 

CancerRoadTrip Museum Hill Santa Fe

Andean hats from the Museum of International Folk Art on Museum Hill

Generally, folk art is ART that:

  • May be decorative or utilitarian
  • May be used every day or reserved for high ceremonies
  • Is handmade; it may include handmade elements, as well as new, synthetic, or recycled components
  • May be made for use within a community of practice or it may be produced for sale as a form of income and empowerment
  • May be learned formally or informally; folk art may also be self-taught
  • May include intangible forms of expressive culture like dance, song, poetry, and foodways
  • Is traditional; it reflects shared cultural aesthetics and social issues. It is recognized that, as traditions are dynamic, traditional folk art may change over time and may include innovations in tradition.
  • Is of, by, and for the people; all people, inclusive of class, status, culture, community, ethnicity, gender, and religion

The museum’s core collection was donated by its founder Florence Dibell Bartlett. Today the museum boasts over 130,000 items form more than 100 countries around the world.

Once a year the Museum hosts the International Folk Art Market:

 

 

Here are a few pictures from this year’s market:

 

CancerRoadTrip Folk Art Festival Santa Fe

The festive entry beckons one into the 2018 Folk Art Market in Santa Fe.

 

CancerRoadTrip Folk Art Festival Santa Fe

All that glitters isn’t gold. Here at this vendor it’s gorgeous silver!

 

CancerRoadTrip Folk Art Festival Santa Fe

Earrings and much more at the Folk Art Market.

 

CancerRoadTrip Folk Art Festival Santa Fe

Color galore!

 

CancerRoadTrip Folk Art Festival Santa Fe

Kites and then some

 

If you go to the International Folk Art Market, you may want to splurge on early morning tickets. They cost a bit more, but they give you entree to the market starting at 7 am, before the crowds, the heat and the afternoon thunderstorms!

 

And tucked away in Museum Hill are the Botanical Gardens:

 

Santa Fe Botanical Garden CancerRoadTrip

Stop, rest a bit. The Santa Fe Botanical Gardens at Museum Hill are the perfect spot for an afternoon respite.

 

Click Here To Visit The Botanical Gardens of Santa Fe!

 

Getting To Museum Hill

The four museums and the botanical gardens are clustered together, just off Old Santa Fe Trail. Exploring the area takes you through some beautiful residential areas, plus gives you the opportunity to sample the local terrain that the early settlers and traders rode as they crossed the country.

 

CancerRoadTrip Museum Hill Santa Fe NM

The museums and botanical gardens are all grouped together, just off Old Santa Fe Trail

 

CancerRoadTrip Museum Hill Santa Fe NM

Museum Hill is outside the old part of town, but easily accessible.

 

Public buses, private tours, free shuttles and Uber/Lyft all provide transportation. I recommend stopping in one of the tourist offices to get the most recent information on transportation schedules to Museum Hill. And while you’re there, have some fun exploring the incredible number of things to do in northern New Mexico.

More Reading On Santa Fe and Environs:

The Botanical Garden in Santa Fe 
Winter at Taos Pueblo
The Art, Culture and Beauty of Santa Fe, NM
Abiquiu Art Project
Georgia O’Keeffe Country
PowWow: Gathering of Nations


 

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CancerRoadTrip Museum Hill Santa Fe

 

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What is #CancerRoadTrip and how did it come to be? Read this post to get the backstory! 

Follow me on Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and at Anti-Cancer Club.  Connect with me!  I may need a place or two to stay along the way!

 

Traveling With Cancer: A One Year Anniversary

Traveling With Cancer: A One Year Anniversary

Traveling with cancer presents its challenges but on this day, I tried to see the opportunity. It was Day One of CancerRoadTrip, one year ago.

My first stop was in Sonoma, one of those places I’ve enjoyed for more than 20 years. The rolling hills, the ocean, the lines of grapes wandering over the hillsides all come together to create a small piece of heaven on earth. And don’t forget the oysters and wine!

 

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Traveling With Cancer: Day One in Sonoma

These pictures are from my first day out on Cancer Road Trip, just about one year ago. My car was packed for four seasons. Winter boots were stashed in the Thule carrier on the car’s roof. Summer clothes in a bag in the back.

I didn’t know how to use my camera yet. I hadn’t had time to consider all the dials, settings and possibilities. It was, for the moment, a task not a companion.

Between cancer and business, fair weather friends were long gone and I found myself traveling with the words of Eric Clapton:

 

Once I lived the life of a millionaire
Spent all my money, didn’t have any care
Took all my friends out for a mighty good time
Bought bootleg liquor, champagne and wine

Then I began to fall so low
Lost all my good friends, had nowhere to go
I get my hands on a dollar again
I’ll hang on to it till that old eagle grins

‘Cause nobody knows you
When you’re down and out
In your pocket, not one penny
And as for friends, you don’t have many

When you get back on your feet again
Everybody wants to be your long-lost friend
I said it’s strange, without any doubt
Nobody knows you when you’re down and out

 

 

2018-CancerRoadTrip-Traveling-With-cancer

 

Perhaps being down and out had its positive side. I could move along, beholding to no one. I stopped at Cornerstone Garden to stretch my back; I had a bowl of wonderful mussels in Sonoma for lunch.

Cornerstone Garden Sonoma CancerRoadTrip

Artefact, an architectural salvage place in Cornerstone Gardens that I loved to frequent. It was here that I found that perfectly funky piece of teak root that doubled as a piece of natural art for my backyard. This of course required two round trips, one to buy the piece and another to transport it!

 

Traveling with cancer, CancerRoadTrip

Lunch!

Day One of traveling with cancer was one of adventure, possibility and sadness.

I was still in that in between land of attachment to the events and possessions versus the freedom of the road. Over time, less would become more and the adventure would overshadow the past.

But on Day One of my road trip, nothing was clear. Other than heading to Vashon Island to regroup, I had no idea where I was going to go or what I was going to do. I’d ruled out a lawsuit based on cost and stress.  Half a million dollars for lawyers just wasn’t in my budget. Nor was wasting three years of my life on a group of grifters.

It was once again time to start over again.

My travels through Sonoma covered familiar territory. It was wistful and a process of relinquishing all that had been. As I drove through winding roads and vineyards, I remembered driving similar passages with Whiskey Oscar in tow. I remembered parties at vineyards and weekends with friends.

 

Cornerstone Garden Sonoma CancerRoadTrip

A stop at Chalk Hill reminded me of wine dinners and good times.  The glass structure to the left of the indoor riding rink housed a French limestone fireplace and opened to a patio overlooking the vineyards.

I remembered being without cancer.

And I remember an unforgettable night, in Sonoma, when I received a message that they had misdiagnosed my cancer.

After months of research, I had applied for a clinical trial at Stanford. It was a vaccine trial, where an individualized vaccine was created and placed into your body. The research made sense to me; it wasn’t chemo; I wanted to try it as a first line offense.

I was sitting at a table at a lovely event in Sonoma, enjoying great food and wine. A phone call came in, but I was too slow to pick up. Instead, I retrieved the message:

Stanford rejected you.

Their biopsy results show you have a different type of cancer. 

Call the office on Monday.

I just stared at my phone. A deep, dark pit of doubt and fear opened and threatened to engulf me. It would be a feeling I’d become familiar with as I navigated life with cancer.

The rejection of the clinical trail was devastating. I’d carefully constructed a safety net of data and information to guide me through what lay ahead. I’d researched clinical trials; talked to researchers and doctors; made what I thought was an informed decision.

And it was all for nought.

I was back at the beginning again with no knowledge, no plan, and perhaps no future.

I went through the rest of the three day weekend smiling, chatting, eating and drinking. But it was an out of body experience as the months of research, hope and effort went down the drain. And I still didn’t know what the diagnosis would be on Monday.

As I drive through Sonoma I think about all of this. I think about the comfort that my wonderful bedroom and the wind chimes just outside the window gave me through the various rounds of chemo. I think that it is all gone and I don’t know what to do.

 

Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.

 

Other than just go forward.

In those early days of travel, I was living on an edge of an abyss. Above was life. Below– I didn’t know and I didn’t want to look too closely. I was sure the stress would manifest itself in a re-emergence of cancer, just as it had before.

After the Rituxan (my personal drug from hell and my first unsuccessful offense against the cancer), the 6 infusions of RCVP (a chemo cocktail used to treat non-Hodgkins lymphoma) every three weeks bought me some time.

But the cancer soon came raging back. A tumor wrapped around my aorta was a source of concern. Another at the base of my skull. And tumors too numerous to count throughout my body.

And now, on the road, traveling with cancer, and quite homeless for the moment, I just didn’t want to go there again, yet I was sure that was where I was heading.

 

When you can’t change the direction the wind, adjust your sails.

–H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

 

Traveling With Cancer, CancerRoadTrip

 

So I battened down the hatches and I drove.

Driving, for me, is simultaneously an act of engagement and disengagement. I drive. The terrain in Sonoma is such that one wears the road, particularly driving a manual transmission. I concentrated on what was immediately ahead. And I entered that wonderful space of now, where nothing exists except the moment.

So started CancerRoadTrip.

Oysters CancerRoadTrip Vashon Island Area

Oysters and Wine

 

Oysters and wine. Trepidation and joy. Not necessarily in that order. A walk on the coast; a visit to beautiful gardens. And a winding road into the country towards an unknown destination.

I find solace and wisdom in metaphor. And on Day One of CancerRoadTrip, traveling with cancer, disappointment and doubt, I definitely needed some solace.

 

One’s destination is never a place but a new way of seeing things. –Henry Miller

 

 

CancerRoadTrip Traveling With Cancer

Traveling With Cancer: From chaos comes order, in time.

 

Life isn’t always easy. There are times when all we know is shattered and unrecognizable and the only option is to somehow move ahead. I’m grateful I was able to trust in the journey, although I had many doubts along the way. But it is paying off, in new places, new experiences and in new perspectives.

And goodness knows I always love a bit of adventure!

My wind chimes may be packed away; my possessions in boxes; but traveling with cancer I find comfort in the words of my ancestors:

 

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again may the Lord hold you in the palm of His hand.

 

CancerRoadTrip Traveling With Cancer

Irish Roadway   Photo Credit: Aranka Sinnema

Happy Anniversary, CancerRoadTrip!

 

More Reading On Traveling With Cancer

SOLD!
Road Trip!
Healdsburg to Vashon
Namaste
Weathering The Storm
Traveling the Timeline of Now

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CancerRoadTrip Traveling With Cancer

 

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What is #CancerRoadTrip and how did it come to be? Read this post to get the backstory! 

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